You know, so much of the time, we’re just lost. I like that line and the subsequent summation speech by Paul Newman’s character from the movie, The Verdict. In it, he mentions acting as if you have faith, and faith will be given to you. So true, and in so many aspects of life can this apply. Yep, even bicycling.
Last year at this same time, I was about 275 pounds, and I think I went on maybe four rides the entire year. I can’t say what really was behind the years I gained weight, not really pursuing a healthy life, not really pursuing any passions. I think I can most definitely say, that like the speech in The Verdict, I was indeed, just lost. But I have risen out from the nameless funk I was mired in. Starting around March of this year, I have been focusing on exercising, eating quality food (and keeping a food diary), and—best of all—I started riding again.
Riding has been a passion of mine since childhood. To me, riding represents being free. I am one of those people who apply a lot of thought as to why things happen, and I question myself, and explore myself, my motives, my desires and my needs. An odd bird, perhaps. Anyway, quite often during a ride, I zone out. Which is not to say I don’t pay attention to my surroundings. Situational awareness at all times, physically being aware of the constantly changing environment, is a key to survival on a bike. No, the zone out I am speaking of is actually finding a stillness and quietude in my very soul. It’s like a harmonic convergence of sorts. When the conditions are just right, it’s like a spiritual high—on the inside—while my autonomic system, my brain and body, continue to process information, focus and react accordingly.
For those several years spent not pursing bicycling and my other passions, I grew to think that I just couldn’t do them. But starting anew, and reinventing my being one more time, has given me a new approach…a belief in myself, and a belief that if I merely just act as if I can do something, that deed will come to me. I started out this year a little late in the riding season, and I was huffing and puffing quite a lot at first. But I acted as if. As if!
Yesterday I decided to do the longest single ride that I have done since, like, um, a looong, long time. Riding 85 miles in one day would have been impossible for me last year. And yes, I know that one day, it will be impossible for me again. But for now, I will take it and be happy about it. For now, I am acting as if I had faith that I can do it, and will keep on doing it, for as long as I am meant to do it.
85 miles to Crothersville and back